My mom is coming up this weekend….
…which means that the cleanliness of my house will be judged, and commented upon. I will then be gently reprimanded; one of the following scenarios will almost certainly occur:
1-“Didn’t I teach you how to clean the ____?” (combined with an air of droll amusement and mild horror)
How *could* I forget to dust the dining room chair rail?
2-“Oh honey- would you like me to help you get this ___ decent again?” (with a sympathetic pat on the shoulder)
In response to the slightly dull laundry room sink…
3-“You mean Chip does his own ___? After working all day???” (tiny gasp and shudder.)
I don’t pick up his dirty socks out of the living room floor for him? Really? And I still have a happy marriage? Am I sure he isn’t cheating on me for this? Really sure? Really really??? Well. I am certainly confident, and isn’t that nice.
Le Sigh. Do you think maybe if I just hid everything under the bed?… no, that won’t work… Maybe brought in a fire hose?… I’d still have to vacuum… And then there’s the dishes… Laundry… Bathroom… Spare room…
Awwww @#$^$!!!
(Just kidding- she’s not really that bad. Well, most of the time anyway…)
